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There's nothing funny about promoting bias

By ROSS RUNFOLA
as published in the Buffalo News
August 19, 2007

It was getting late, and I was falling asleep as I read "Long Walk To Freedom" by Nelson Mandela until a phrase jolted me awake with its power: "No one is born hating another person because of the color of their skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate."

Prejudice towards others finds its most fertile grounds within the family, where most often children mirror the bias of their parents. I am lucky to be born in a family where all people were considered equal and no group or individual was ever targeted by xenophobia or racism. Ours was a family of great laughter, but no jokes were allowed that degraded distinct individuals or groups.

I understood at an early age that behind all such seemingly benign jokes is a vicious stereotype that demeans and degrades individuals or groups making them vulnerable to physical or verbal abuse, such as what happened to Jews prior ot the coming of power of Hitler in Nazi Germany.

I never tolerated anyone telling such jokes and would immediately stop them. The most common response was "It's only a joke," as if dividing the world into "us" and "them" was not inherently dangerous. I would often remind these people that jokes about the race, gender, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, age, body type and/or the mental capacity of an individual impoverishes us all. And the person who targets one group by a joke is likely to target one of us when we are not present.

Recently, I am becoming more aware of people within the same ethnic, racial, or religious group making jokes about themselves, as if that makes stereotyping acceptable. This is most prevalent in hip-hop music where the "n" word is so prevelent. I submit that this behavior is more damaging to the social fabric of African-Americans than anything Don Imus could say.

When I was a teenager, an Italian friend used a durogatory term about our ethnic group in front of a large assemblage of friends. When I screamed my displeasure, he said, "It's OK, I'm a . . ." I said, "You may be a . . . but I am not."

In college, I was having a drink with a friend with a friend when an acquaintance who just got back from Vietnam said to my companion "Are you a Jew? You don't seem like a Jew," as if this was a compliment.

I immediately launched a verbal barrage. To my shock, my friend said, "I take it as a compliment." Granted, I overstepped my bounds of civility, but beware anyone who gives you such a back-handed compliment.

I hear the word "retard" used with with increased frequency by people in every socioeconomic class, age, color, and religion more than any other dehumanizing verbiage. This is a hurtful statement, especially to the family of the person with diminished mental capacity. Most often, when I voice my displeasure, the person does not even understand why it is wrong.

And when you go to a high school or college sporting event, cheer for your team but do not mock the "body type" of players.

The greatest reason we have prejudice against others is because we do not interact with them. Try to cultivate friends and acquaintances with people different from you. And if you have been harmed by the intolerance of others, show compassion and forgiveness, not anger and hatred. Follow the example of the Dalai Llama, who reminds us that negative emotions only consume and drain positive energy, leading to stress.

ROSS T. RUNFOLA, an attorney and professor of sociology at Medaille College, believes children learn prejudice at an early age.