I am a sentimental fool about the anniversary of Mrs. Thornton Webster and me.
I do not like her but it’s our anniversary so it’s important to celebrate.

I do not like abrasive people except for me since I am charmingly abrasive and
have a rule never to be abrasive to those who take orders from people like Mrs.
Thornton Webster.
Mrs. Thornton Webster has a rule to be abrasive to those without the perceived
class status  of Mrs. Thornton Webster.                                                                                                                            

Five years ago, on December 20, 2004, after watching Mrs. Thornton Webster get
drunk, scream at, cajole and  humiliate workers at a posh club, I see her shit on
her designer gown.
While others at the posh club pretend they do not see Mrs. Thornton
Webster shit on herself; I walk by and whisper to her, in a most gentlemanly
way ,“I saw you make poopie on yourself”?

Mrs. Thornton Webster leaves the posh club in a huff with her stuffy husband
Mr. Thornton Webster because of me stating the obvious.
the next year on December 20, 2005, I send a card to Mrs. Thornton Webster
 “Do you know what day it is? It’s the first anniversary of the day you shit
on yourself at the Buffalo Club? Happy Anniversary, Ross”
 
and so it goes for three years. It’s a private anniversary of Mrs. Thornton
Webster and myself, our dirty little secret, until she tells her husband Mr. Thornton
Webster about the yearly Anniversary card I send.

One day as Mr. Thornton Webster is driving down the street in his BMW,
he spots me and screams, “You are disgusting Ross, leave my wife alone.”
 “Absolutely Thornton” I assure Mr. Thornton Webster, “But tell me, have
you housebroken your wife yet.”