I don’t believe:
Celebrities should get discounts.
Priests get a free pass to heaven.
anyone should be arrested for stealing poetry books.
poverty should exist.
corporations care about workers
or the environment.
Schools educate students to be creative or independent .
Santa Claus exists
but I reserve judgement on the Easter Bunny.
I have seen rabbitts
smashed like pancakes on the road.
car salesmen or lawyers.
anyone has mental illness unless I say so.
the religious right who claim God talks to them.
(this includes the Pope and the President)
elected leaders.
mainstream media.
surgeries performed by doctors are always necessary,
professors are more intelligent than students.
restaurants make their own bread.
the United States had to invade Iraq.
people should drive Humvees.
the FBI cares about the Fourth Amendment.
global warming has to exist.
Abraham Lincoln was heterosexual.
all pretty women smell nice.
the seven deadly “sins” are sins.
Crossing guards when they tell me to cross.
New York City is the greatest city in the world.
the Communist Manifesto
is relevant in the Computer Age.
caviar tastes good
unless you eat it from a woman’s belly button.
black men are sexual supermen.
academic poets experience life.
waitresses who tell me they never spit in soup.
country clubs are worth a purple shit.
a literal interpretation of the bible.
anyone lives in North Dakota.
I write this drivel.