Michelle set me straight about
great women in history
my education was full of lies
regarding the importance of such women as:
Madame Curie who discovered radium;
Harriet Tubman who went on
secret missions piloting blacks out of slavery;
Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s early fight for women’s rights;
and Eleanor Roosevelt championing
the rights of the disenfranchised.
these were all superficial women glorified by
historians who ignored the real accomplishments
of great women like Michelle who posed nude for Playboy
“The greatest accomplishment any woman can have is to be asked
to pose nude for Playboy or Penthouse”, Michelle told me as she
adjusted the tight red mini dress that embraced her beautiful legs
who was I to argue with such historical zeitgeist
when it was accompanied by a Nobel Prize winning ass?
and--the other woman were dead
while Michelle was gloriously alive.

Michelle had perfect white teeth unlike the buck toothed
Eleanor Roosevelt and Harriet Tubman
who had most of her front teeth missing
Women’s Rights Activist Gloria Steinhem
was difficult for Michelle to categorize when
I told her she was an ex-Playboy bunny
but Michelle recovered quickly and said firmly,
“Don’t screw with me Ross. She’s an old broad now.”
I knew better than to screw around with Michelle
who I saw drop a bartender with one punch when
he tried to pinch her ass in a New York City bar
I stopped the debate and nodded my head
up and down in agreement like a hand puppet
so I could admire Michelle’s
impeccable scholarly resources.