when the bartender steals my ten spot
I feel worse than if a priest took money
out of the collection plate
I thought priests were capable of such sacrilege
but not a bartender in my place of worship

the man on the bar stool next to mine with onion breath
gives me his brand of Buddhist wisdom,
“Don’t worry he will have bad Karma.”

“why wait for fate to take over in another phase
of that assholes life I won’t see?
I want to start his road to bad Karma tonight.”
“You’re not a spiritual person are you?”
“Not if it means I pretend he didn’t take my money.”
“You should accept what happened as predetermined
and be at peace with your misguided brother”

now I have worse Karma than
when the bartender
took my ten spot.
I have a boring piece of drivel
on the stool next to me preaching the
benefits of being screwed
by your fellow man .

“Why don’t you shut the fuck up or I’ll shove bad
Karma so far up your ass your destiny will be
going to the hospital to have what feels like
three grapefruits removed…..

and when you take your
first shit after surgery your waste will fill the
city’s water supply and everyone will
have the ultimate bad Karma
to have your thoughts fill their minds

the bartender hears enough of our conversation
to fear he will have instant bad karma
I tell him
“Give me my ten bucks back
or I’m leaving and you
will only have onion breath
to talk to the rest of the night

the bartender gives me the ten spot back
and buys me drinks all night until onion breath leaves
then the bartender asks me to leave
I must have a bad aura.