as soon as I hear the question from the Academic Vice-President
I knew I did not want the teaching job:
“Where do you see yourself in five years ?”
I study his pale green visage and seize the moment:
“I see myself in your job, sitting in your chair,
making love to your secretary, on your desk.”
he laughs nervously and continues the scripted interview :
“What are your hobbies“.
I tell him I have none.
“Everyone has hobbies,” he lectures me
as if I was withholding important information on the war.
spotting a Dungeon and Dragon’s kit on his back table,
I tell the Vice President: “ Now that I think of it, I have a hobby.
I don’t collect model railroad trains, do woodworking, or,
play Star Wars or Dungeons and Dragons like others.
I go up to unsuspecting adults at night
zap them with my stun gun
and watch them roll on the ground.”
I did not get the job.