all the Chinese food you can eat
more deadly to Italian and Jews
than all the gangbangers in Harlem:
won ton soup
eggrolls
spare ribs
sweet and sour pork.
the weapons of choice
of the Neanderthal primitives
who come in every Thursday night
for the buffet at Lee Chu’s Restaurant.

big ass Mama’s and Papa’s
play a deadly game of Russian Roulette with food
a great spectator sport unlike any I have ever witnessed.

I watch Carmen “Red” Abbarno and his wife Nikki
waddle to the feeding troughs
Red’s exploding stomach
tailgating Nikki’s trailer truck ass
with the beautiful precision of an Olympic figure skater.

twelve times by my count
until there is nothing left except one spare rib
as solitary as Tony “the Cooch” sitting alone in the corner.

a New York City record
Red and Nikki Abbarno’s Chinese food Olympics
more lustful and longer lasting
than the young couple fucking tonight in Central Park.

the price of admission only $7.95
to have front row seats to this spectacle of hedonism and sloth
that rivals any Roman orgy.

until one Thursday night
before New York City was cleaned up
Big “Red” Abbarno has one egg roll too many.

as “Red’s” face falls mightily into the chicken fried rice
with bean sprouts
he grips his chest with his right hand
the left hand free to embrace the last spare rib.

as he lies dying
there is a collective gasp from the crowd of diners
then they quickly go back to eating
so pass the fried rice.