Pigeon Shit

elegance and style are not taught at finishing schools more likely people who fight for daily survival have elegance and style it is easy to be elegant when your life is in perfect harmony true elegance is the ability to turn horrible times into opportunities to exhibit great style only the truly refined know how to react properly when they: trip down a flight of stairs discover toilet paper stuck to their shoe accidentally fart at the table or are confronted by a stranger with a knife. the men and women in San Francisco’s elite bars mistakenly think they have elegance and style when the opportunity to be so only comes at times such as being in a bar when a fight breaks out. as I sit on a bench in Columbus Park I watch a young upscale couple eat from a white wicker basket full of expensive French wine ,apple slices and brie cheese they are cloistered from the sun by an umbrella and from the earth by a rich tartan blanket. a young girl lies on the grass with her boyfriend both are drinking beer and biting big pieces off a pepperoni stick when suddenly a pigeon shits on the girl’s face. “Look at me. Look at me, “she laughs to all within earshot. “A pigeon just shit all over me!”  tears are rolling down her eyes as uncontrolled laughter makes her fall near my bench “Don’t worry,” I tell her “I get shit on every day.” “That’s good, she chuckles “Has anyone else ever had a pigeon shit on them?” she asks the Columbus Park crowd who sit in stunned silence some roll their eyes all turn away and pretend they don’t hear the question a lack of elegance and style renders them silent.