the Chautauqua Institution Sandwich Poetry Society provides

herb tea, dainty finger sandwiches and bad poetry

so I am honored to read there

writing bad poetry calls for real talent and they all have it

the poetic Muse of the Sandwich Poets is sentimentality

they shove bad lines in poems the same way

New York City Police officers thrust batons up prisoners asses

Lance, one of the Sandwich Poets has a flair for the obvious :

“The little girl seems to be gay - she will come play another day”

The sandwich poets give Lance a Bravo

I am horrified

they all read poems of equally compelling tedium

all receive delicate applause and hearty congratulations

now I know what the true purpose of the Sandwich Poets is :

it is a literary circle jerk at Chautauqua Institution

for bad poets to praise each other

when it is my turn I read my poem “Pigeon Shit”

they sit with pained faces

pretending they are eating small pieces of their delicate sandwiches

the Sandwich parlimentarian says, “Sandwich Poets do not use the word

S - H - I - T in our poetry.”

“What do you mean you don’t use shit in your poetry?” I ask,

“Your poems reek of shit, it is hard to define

a shitty poem but I know one when I hear one

I have heard enough shit today to fill a barn full of horses.”

I am not invited to the next meeting of the Sandwich Poetry Society.